THE DRIVE-IN

WHERE ARE THOSE "PRESERVE THE HISTORICAL WHATEVER" PEOPLE NOW?

at last, weather permitting, drive-in season is upon us again and it is extremely important that everyone goes so as to preserve this fading piece of americana. just in case you're stuck in the wrong part of the past they are not nearly as seedy as you may imagine.

trust me, under the stars and on an enormous screen is the best way to see a movie. it's so good that even bad movies are fun to watch. a bunch of us watched alien vs. predator at the drive-in a couple years ago and had a great time making fun of it mercilessly. that's another advantage of the drive-in, it's much less likely that you'll disturb the other patrons with your witty and sarcastic remarks.

some pointers:

1. drive-in etiquette demands that you use only your running lights inside the theatre.
   
2. bring a boom-box, ghetto-blaster, or what-have-you.


3. also bring some folding camp chairs.


4. back into your parking space.


5. place the boom-box on the trunk of your car and tune it to the theatre's frequency.


6. place your chairs in front of the boom-box so it is aimed right at your head.


7. smoke 'em if you got 'em.

the dominant double features at the drive-in this weekend are:

• spiderman 3 & ghost rider
  
• condemned & 300


• i wouldn't even see wild hogs at the drive-in. what a waste of macy.
  
  [confession: i eventually saw wild hogs at the drive-in. my only excuse: it was on after pirates III - it was pretty bad, but was, as i predicted, almost saved by macy.]